- From [[Mastery - Robert Greene]]
- The root cause of all passive aggression is the human fear of direct confrontation- the emotions that a conflict can churn up and the loss of control that ensues.
- Because of this fear, some people look for other means of getting their point across - making their attacks subtle enough so that it is hard to figure out what is going on, while giving them control of the dynamic.
- We are all passive aggressive to some extent. Showing up late, procrastinating on a project or making offhand comments designated to upset people are common forms of low-level passive aggression. When dealing with this low level variety in others, you can call them on their behavior and make them aware of it, which can often work. If it is truly harmless, simply ignore it. There are people out there seething with insecurities who are veritable passive-aggressive warriors and can ruin your life.
- Discard the friendly, charming exterior and focus solely on their actions and you will have a clearer picture. If they evade you and delay action on something important to you, or make you feel guilty and leave you unsure as to why, or if they act harmfully but make it seem like an accident, you are most likely under a passive aggressive attack.
- At all cost, avoid entangling yourself emotionally in their drama and battles. They are masters at controlling the dynamic, and you will almost always lose in the end.
ALSO REFERENCED IN:
- Mastery –– Robert Greene
- The War of Art –– Steven Pressfield
- A victim act is a form of [[passive aggression]]. It seeks to achieve gratification not by honest work or a contribution made out of one’s experience or insight or love, but by the manipulation of others through silent (and not-so-silent) threat. The victim compels others to come to his rescue or to behave as he wishes by holding them hostage to the prospect of his own further illness/meltdown/mental dissolution, or simply by threatening to make their lives so miserable that they do what he wants.